Everything is energy. Some energy will charge you up. Others will pull you down. It’s all about balance. Peace. Harmony. Patience. Due diligence. Enjoy my creative works. Thank you. 🙏
The emotions flow right now. up and down like tide in the sea.
I have so many memories of time with you with me.
I will carry them with grace and ever so lovingly.
Although we sometimes never met eye to eye.
And we had different beliefs about things.
The love we shared had changed but none the less it remains.
I pray your heart is at peace. As I’ve forgiven all the blame.
Because in my heart I am letting go of any guilt or shame.
No one human is perfect and some things I will never understand.
But I will make the most out of the rest of my life.
Do all I can to make it grand.
I want to be remembered for the kind and love I have to give.
This is after all the true meaning of what it is to live.
Enjoy each day to its fullest. Let it be known that I am and will always reaching for the stars.
I asked you always to love me, and I will love you for who you are.
We all do our best in this life and make a lot of mistakes.
In knowing that I was in your heart and believing that you did your best is what I will take.
Shattered from what love was taught to be.
You‘be been broken and poured love onto thee.
Like a vase destroyed in 200 pieces.
It can only carry resentment.
It’s why I am making this testament.
To be put back together.
To come together with my next love forever.
With inner shadow work done through and through.
By the grace of God forge myself into someone new.
So I can help unpack your baggage when it comes to.
So we can set off into the sunset with the sky blue.
Not saying it will be easy like
The dew of a mornings. Day.
I just know it will be worth it all the way.
Because I trust the lord by and by.
And I clear my heart, my pain and worry again to try.
This time to show up as my best self.
So in loving each other shall be
Our best wealth.
I reflect and remember when we met. I was so happy.
I wanted to show the world you were mine.
Everything was beautiful. then we got married.
Your energy changed.
I told myself, Everything will be fine.
YOU put your mom first that very next Sunday.
I cried so much I could have filled the sea.
Because you went back on the promise,
the oath of you and me.
Those actions stripped away my value,
my confidence,
my pride.
And no matter what was my action,
your anger never seemed to subside.
What a roller coaster those first thirteen years became.
our lives aimlessly roaming.
The drama of our families slowly consumed our marriage.
I felt as if I never mattered.
Like if I was even there.
Like a child put in the back seat,
I felt forgotten.
It felt as if you simply didn’t care.
I began to bury myself in distractions
my parents, work, and cars.
Day by day we drifted apart.
I forgot who I was and finally Realized
I never truly knew who you are.
Hours turned into days.
Our conversations became nothing but problems and complaints.
I tried so many ways
to make love out of something that simply ain’t.
I tried to build you the life you always wanted—
or perhaps the life you never had.
But I was doing it alone.
Sad.
Depressed.
Hurt.
Exhausted.
Drowsy.
Many times I almost
ended it in a ditch.
You did that once and from then made me feel lousy.
You see.. The back seat has two accessible doors.
It’s easy to get in…
and easy to get out.
So I finally decided to move on.
I decided to divorce and step out.
Because where we were headed
wasn’t somewhere I wanted to go.
Was love really to blame?
You put me in the back seat for your mother.
You made me feel guilty.
You made me feel ashamed.
So now, two years later post divorce decision.
I have a clear mind and a blind spot free vision.
I reflect.
I thank God I made it,
because His love has always been true.
I have learned many lessons.
Most important of all,
I learned about me…
because of you.
I accept. I adapt. Change. It will happen regardless even if I oppose it. I am only able to make the most of my circumstances. Be open to all possibilities. Opportunity. I just have to be myself. I am positive energy. Positive influence into a world of despair. Hopelessness.
I can only find security in myself. My beliefs. Create positive daily practices for myself. Because I am a victim of my life choices which dictate my circumstances. I become what I allow.
I am directed by the source. Higher power. I can hold no bereavements. Grievances. I can only give what’s inside of me. What the source intended for me to share. Faith. Love. Kindness. Respect. Trust. Hope. Charity. Because all other energies are not from the source. But the self. Ego. Edging God out. So, be the truth. Be the light in a dark world.
Be the person your dog sees in you.
Sometimes you just have to say fuck it!
If you have to force or fight it just walk away and say fuck it.
Life will throw you curves. Make sure you are good duck and weave.
If it’s not consistent, replace it. (Who or whatever it is)
You have the power within you to change everything.
Let it go.
